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Death and Taxes used to be just about all that folks felt were inevitable in the course of living life.  All though those two processes seem to be part of life for sure there is another variable that really is more prevalent in our lives that the first two listed and it is – Change.

We do not have many of the loose coins in our pocket anymore, but the amount of change a body must process through in a lifetime is coming at a rapid pace these days.

The folks who are avoiding change or avoiding making change in their lives seemed to be trapped into a hanging on which does not give them new tools for coping with the change.  Stress fueling their every waking moment.

A dear friend of mine is suffering with so many ailments and is in the throes of a hording syndrome that now includes rats in her home.  I thought this latest problem would allow her to find release and to make a change, which might open the door to more change.  Such has not been the case or the outcome.

I went back to my trusted authority on making change in one’s life which is the book .  I believe his name is what initially caught my attention in the bookstore.  How clever, a person named Bridges talking about transition and change. It made the concept simple and I refer to my tattered copy so many times during the year when I am problem-solving.

This is not a new book but it is the ground work for a number of other studies and it just makes sense in a slow moving cycle or a busy, fast paced season of change.

Bridges premise is that there are three distinct stages of change and recognizing which stage is taking up your time at the moment is key to understanding your situation and making progress to transition into your new stage.

The Three stages of change spelled out are Endings, The Neutral Zone, and The New Beginning.

I would like to focus on a traditionally happy ending – the wedding.  Yep! This is an ending, it is a time when you are ending your definition of yourself as being a single being.  You are publically stating that you are making a comment to a relationship with another individual.  People offer toasts, well wishes, advice and hopefully there is some skilled counseling involved before the big event.   An ending is the beginning of a change and it is not a final moment but it is the beginning of the transition.  We are on to something new.

The Neutral Zone is the next phase.  After a wedding we call this the honeymoon period, the honeymoon is not just the trip, rather it is a period of time when the couple is testing and problem-solving and bonding.  It is a time of reorientation; a time of testing the different pathways possible to this relationship.  Can this marriage withstand buying a house, how will you celebrate the holidays or an unplanned pregnancy, or that new partner never does the dishes?  There is lots of trial and error in the dance of conflict resolution and the newness of your relationship.

The New Beginning comes only at the end of the transition.  Sometimes it comes as an Ah Ha moment in hindsight, or when we become just determined to launch a new activity and find success.  It requires more than just perseverance, “it requires an understanding of external signs and inner signals that point the way to the future.”

In the wedding example of a transition, the new beginning might be that the couple just realizes they were truly working as a team in the negotiations over the purchase of the right house for their needs and wants to be met, and that they had truly listened and understood the other person’s needs and wants in the situation.  They are all set to move in – to a new transition phase of their marriage.

An unhappy example of an ending might be when one partner becomes seriously ill in a relationship or the relationship is terminated because of a sudden death.  The Neutral Zone is something which takes a long time of healing work and changes in expectations and plans. This cycle can be extremely uncomfortable as we disconnect from the past, the present is extremely emotionally traumatizing, and we need assistance and time to reorganize ourselves for the future - our new beginnings.

I most often return to this book to discover that I have not fully acknowledged an Ending and that I am wandering around in the Neutral Zone needing some assistance in reading the signs that direct me towards a new Beginning.  Being in the Neutral Zone has become uncomfortable; I am relieved to open my copy of this book and regain my focus and find a new understanding.

We all have different skills at making change in our lives; I have positive redirections to employ with the outline which Dr. Bridges builds his premise of change.

I have read a number of blogs that have shared about simplifying their holiday and not spending as much on gifts as they transition to the new economic circumstances in their lives.  I am wondering how that went and was it a transition in which you were successful?  How will it change your future celebrations?

What stages of transition do you find most difficult?  What transitions are you planning for and making preparations?

I look forward to your comments.

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I would like to introduce you to a new blog www.bikingarchitect.com . This site is designed to open discussion, research, and dialog between folks who are working on the Architecture2030 challenge to reduced energy consumption by 50% in all buildings – new design and renovations.

I created this blog for my Honey as a gift which would allow others to join in the discussion, make comments and contribute to the research and to hear about the exciting projects that I learn about at home.   It is very exciting information and I combined it with Honey’s other passion bicycle riding so that we could really have some fun!

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Ever have one of those Ah Ha! Moments where the light bulb just goes on and you just know the answer to your query?

Now that it is the second of January, do you feel as if you have already failed or are about to fail with your resolve or resolution?

Well this is the season for you – do not give up hope or exploration because you really are right on track.

Sometimes the ancient ones have better answers to our contemporary dilemmas. I keep finding that is true when I study the Essene Traditions and knowledge. These are folks that lived about 2000 + years ago and found value in the waiting game by dividing the year into 8 seasons and then a series of sub-seasons based on the elements of earth – fire, air, water, and firmament. They really knew how to make the waiting game work for them and how to find success.

The Essene actually celebrated waiting with a sub-season called Advent which ends on Christmas Day. The kings brought gifts to the baby Jesus so the 12 days after Christmas is called Christmastide – thus the song – The Twelve Days of Christmas – to Twelfth Night. Many contemporary Christian Groups celebrate a day called Epiphany on the 6th of January. Some celebrate by taking down their Christmas trees and ornaments, some have an elaborate cake and feast and celebrate King’s Day ( connecting this day to the Fat Tuesday and the Start of Mardi Gras and Lent on Ash Wednesday.

I believe those are kind of arbitrary dates and they do not really meet my needs for the Ah Ha of Epiphany. Since the Essene folks were waiting the birth of the Christ, I don’t think our current Christian Traditions do it justice or give it clarity, rather I think they miss the point all together.

I believe that one should just open themselves up to explore what the particular change they are intending to transform in the New Year at Christmastide or on January the first. Celebrate by cleaning house, organizing your exterior and interior; plan your garden and order the seeds. Then each one needs make a list of their talents and rank them by how much they have used that talent in the past year.
Now look at one that is hiding in your talent closet and dust it off. Figure out some way to explore or celebrate this talent for at least 10 minutes every day until Ash Wednesday.

Your Ah Ha! Epiphany resolution will just magically appear within this practice. I kid you not; no teasing included in this statement at all. One will know exactly what they need to do during the period of Lent – those 40 days of teaching and walking your talk. We all know that at the end of 40 days the habit will become norm or be gone.

So don’t make a New Year’s Resolution or any resolution until you discover your Ah Ha! Moment. One will discover that resolution by practicing daily a talent you have been given. It will arrive like magic and one will know with certainty just what to do.

I am going to work at regaining some kind of singing voice. I am hiring a vocal music teacher to come to my house and record the piano scales and exercises in my key to get my vocal muscles back in shape. Just 15 minutes worth of recorded exercises. I lost my singing gift after a tumor was removed from my vocal chords several years ago.

What are some of your talents that were gifts at birth?
What dormant one are you going to explore this season?
Will you practice the Epiphany style of Resolution Discovery? Does it sound interesting at all?

Let me know and then if you have an Ah Ha! Moment – come back and let us all know!

Thank you for sharing.

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Thanksgiving 2008 in the USA, I was on tour and I decided on the best mode of celebration for my big event in 2009.

It all started with a 20 hour train ride to San Francisco.  I got on board the Amtrak Pacific Coast train service to San Francisco about noon.  I found my sleeper car and the Porter came by to let me know that I was signed up for lunch in an hour and a half.  This was news to me because I had carefully packed a bag of food for the ride and now found out my ticket included 6 full meals in the dining car.

A few minutes later the Porter returned with a split of champagne and a lovely orange for me to enjoy while I settled in and waited for lunch.

The Champagne kept on coming the whole week of my tour!

I did several walking tours of the city and discovered fine food, farmer’s markets, and the amazing experiences of the Mission District, Chinatown, the Embarcadero, the tourist traps and Union Square’s Glitz.  At nearly every stop and start, there was Champagne.

I was given a tour of Wine Country by my oldest child.  It was a lovely coach bus tour with lots of other people.  I truly enjoyed meeting the folks from Scotland who were married “last Thursday” in San Diego and were enjoying their honeymoon tour after a helicopter ride through the Grand Canyon –“Oh! It is just the best way to experience the whole spectacular.”

Thank you!  Thank you! To my kiddo for the great experience and fun day.

My Honey and child did the wine country tour on bicycles, while I enjoyed the bus, the lovely food, and the tour guide’s history lessons and city discussions.  Joe was a great teacher at our first stop Domaine Chandon – the home of the finest of Champagnes.

The grounds, gardens, and vines are exquisite even on a rainy fall morning. This elegant facility also grows its own grapes.  I learned the difference between grades of wines and how champagne is priced and the correct way to consume and taste wine on the remaining three stops of the tour.

And I got an idea.

I knew just how I wanted to celebrate my 60th birthday in 2009. I started planning my year in detail at that very moment on my third glass of the bubbly.

I bought a case of my favorite taste and joined the champagne club.  12 lovely bottles of champagne arrived at my home and now 2 more would arrive each month until I said – enough!
Now I am asking you to join in the fun.

When one opens a bottle of champagne (which by the way I learned how to do correctly) there begins a celebration and an expectation – just like magic there is a rather joyous response from deep down inside.   I have given away the first 12 bottles in that case with the words:

“In 2009, I will be turning 60 years old and I want you to have this bottle of champagne to help me celebrate.  Even if you do not drink champagne, I am sure you will discover someone who has just a special moment in 2009 which needs a joyous, bubbly celebration of champagne to acknowledge – so pass it on.  I want you to assist me in radiating that joyous feeling all throughout the year to come”

I am hoping that each one of you will purchase a bottle of the bubbly and keep it on hand in 2009 for that celebration moment that is just right to pop the cork.

I am hoping that folks will comment on this post all throughout the year ahead and let me know just how they celebrated and passed on that joyous feeling. Will you help me participate?

I am thinking this will make for a boundless stream of joy – opened up to the universe – a round of celebration.  What do you think?

How did you celebrate your 60th birthday or how do you think you will celebrate that magical decade’s arrival?

How do you put joy out into the universe?

(You don’t drink alcoholic beverages?  That is okay too! Did you know that opening a brewed bottle of Ginger ale will give you the same joyous feeling and no alcohol?  - it has a sharp, clear taste from the Ginger used in making it – it is very healthy stuff for your body – and it is not just chemical imitation like soda pop)

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